


I miss you with every breath

by DynaEvangeline



Series: Advent Calender 2k17 [16]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M, He is precious and I adore him, Malcolm deserved so much better, Mentions of cuteness and them being cute, More Malcolm focused than the actual ship, Shadowhunters are horrible people, and him missing her desperately., and loss, because I love him, but mostly pain, mostly angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 07:17:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13071879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DynaEvangeline/pseuds/DynaEvangeline
Summary: Malcolm could see the snow falling, light and he knew that it would not stick to the ground. The weather was much too warm for that but he enjoyed seeing it. Very much. It reminded him of so much of his home, so long ago with Annabel. There was good there and there was bad in those memories. So much bad than more he thought on it and lately he had been thinking on it more and more. Malcolm stood outside, as he watched the snow fall, outside where he had Annabel safe and everything waited inside. Everything he would need at some point to bring her back. One day he would, one day he would have her in his arms again.





	I miss you with every breath

Malcolm could see the snow falling, light and he knew that it would not stick to the ground. The weather was much too warm for that but he enjoyed seeing it. Very much. It reminded him of so much of his home, so long ago with Annabel. There was good there and there was bad in those memories. So much bad than more he thought on it and lately he had been thinking on it more and more. Malcolm stood outside, as he watched the snow fall, outside where he had Annabel safe and everything waited inside. Everything he would need at some point to bring her back. One day he would, one day he would have her in his arms again. For now he stared out of the ocean, caught in memories when times were better. When he wasn't as bitter. When he didn't worry about what was said and done behind his back, when he was trusting. Those times were long gone now but he couldn't help but wish they weren't. 

The Blackthorns had taken him in when he was young. Abandoned by his mother on the steps of the Institute, the Shadowhunters there had taken him in like their own. But not really, while they let him have their name, he was not one of theirs. He had no clue as to why they did it, other than to have a Warlock as a pet. One they could use without charge, one that would owe them. They even helped him to learn his magic, and were kind. So kind that now he knew it was more than fake. All except Annabel, she had been so kind, and that kindness was real. He grew up with her, watching her turn from the kind little girl who showed him how to be proper and showed him how to not be afraid of himself, into the beautiful woman that he had fallen for. She had been his everything and to his surprise she loved him back. In secret, they both knew they could never tell anyone. They both knew how Shadowhunters viewed relationships with Downworlders. He would have been killed and Annabel said she never wanted that. She wanted him safe and she wanted to be together. 

That winter, they played out in the snow, just like they were children again. Dancing through the soft white down, as he swung her close to him. His magic keeping them shielded from any prying eyes. He was strong and it was so easy to do and he liked having time her like this. They spent the whole evening together, the white flakes falling softly in her dark hair and some on her eye lashes. She was so very beautiful, nothing could compare, not the snow and not the night sky. She was the most beautiful thing to him and he couldn't help kissing her and pinning her down in the snow. Listening with a wide grin to her laughter as he did so. She was so fragile beneath him but so strong. Runes arched over her skin, so stark against its paleness. There was not one part of her that he did not adore. He loved her so very much. They kissed and they played and they also talked that night. About running away together, getting married. She would give it all up for him and he did not tell her no. In hindsight maybe he should have. Better to have her alive and breathing and heartbroken, than to be hopeful and suffering as she died. He should have thought through this better, someone was bound to figure them out and what they were doing. And they did, they were caught by Shadowhunters as they attempted to leave the city, caught and imprisoned in the Silent City. It was not her fault, it was his, his greed. His need to have the dark magic, his need to keep them safe. It might have been a little overboard and in the end it was his fault they got caught most likely. His fault for not preparing well enough. His fault for abandoning her, though at the time he didn't know it. She was the daughter of the heads of the Institute, he thought she would be safe. Her family adored her and all the blame would go on him. After all he was a Downworlder and this was before the accords with no laws to protect him. They could kill him just for loving her and he knew that was their plan. He had only escaped because of the Unseelie King, and from there he had learned they had taken Annabel to the Adamant Citadel to be trained as a Iron Sister. Where she could never leave. Or so he had thought that was what had became of her. They had all lied to him. Catarina, Magnus, Ragnor, his friends. Those he trusted. 

The truth was so much worse. Her family ashamed with her had buried her alive, letting her slowly suffocated. If he had only known sooner, he could have saved her. But he didn't because he had been lied to and the anger just built until he was where he was now. "You always loved the water and the snow and here we are. Its not like home but not quite. I will have you back soon and nothing will separate us again." He was hopeful she would see the beauty when she awake. That none of the pain would be there. He had not abandoned her on purpose and he was going to make this right. By the blood of her family, it would be right again. She would be in his arms safe and they would escape from everything to just be with each other. Like it should have always been. 

~~~~

 

It was many and many a year ago,  
In a kingdom by the sea,  
That a maiden there lived whom you may know  
By the name of Annabel Lee;  
And this maiden she lived with no other thought  
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,  
In this kingdom by the sea,  
But we loved with a love that was more than love—  
I and my Annabel Lee—  
With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven  
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,  
In this kingdom by the sea,  
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling  
My beautiful Annabel Lee;  
So that her highborn kinsmen came  
And bore her away from me,  
To shut her up in a sepulchre  
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,  
Went envying her and me—  
Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,  
In this kingdom by the sea)  
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,  
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love  
Of those who were older than we—  
Of many far wiser than we—  
And neither the angels in Heaven above  
Nor the demons down under the sea  
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul  
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams  
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;  
And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes  
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;  
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side  
Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,  
In her sepulchre there by the sea—  
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

~Edgar Allan Poe

**Author's Note:**

> Doing a fic for every day up until the 25th. One more spot is open for a pairing if anyone is interested feel free to message me here. 
> 
> A little bit behind but I am catching up as best as I can. Will have all fics done before the end of the month.


End file.
